Monday, September 27, 2010

No words

Every night, I have thought I need to post, but I have no words. We have been home 2 1/2 weeks yet it seems like an eternity since I held our kids. I need to post about our trip. It was truly incredible and amazing, but I cannot find the words. Tonight I will share the most touching and most difficult part of our trip. Heartbreaking, really.

Two nights before we were to come home my husband told our sweet son he would have to wait for us in Ghana. He got very quiet, but said nothing. Later that night after Helen was asleep, the 6 of us sat on the bed, Mom, Dad, Sydney, Keenan, Aiden and Samuel Richard. I pulled Samuel Richard into my lap and he sat there. I told him how very much I loved him and how I wished we could take him to America with us, but we were not allowed yet. I couldn't see his face, but suddenly I felt tear drops falling on my arms. I cried with him. Tears ran down my face as they came faster down his. I rocked him back and forth while everyone else sat with us. I told him repeatedly, "I love you. I'll come back for you. I promise I'll be back." I cuddled him like a newborn baby and relished in the moment I never had when he was small. We stayed this way, crying silently for a long time. I held him as each child came over to him and hugged him. They told him they loved him. Priceless! This is what Jesus is all about. Love, unconditional love that is lived out by these precious children who GET IT!

Two days later we were scheduled to fly home at midnight. We didn't talk about leaving with Helen and Samuel Richard. However, that afternoon as we drove closer and closer to their foster home, I watched my sweet son's face change from a smile to an OH NO. He looked at Righ and said, "Daddy, you go in with me, right? Daddy, go in with me?" Righ assured him he would. We all got out to their "home" and their foster mom. Righ and I hugged her, prayed with her, and thanked her for loving our children. For taking care of them in their time of need. Samuel Richard climbed in the chair when he realized we were leaving and cried silent tears. I held Helen close to me. Then, I gave her to Righ and knelt with my son. He cried and cried. I tried to make him look into my eyes and understand I would be back. I'm not sure he ever understood me. I think he felt abandoned. His cries went from silent to loud. As I cried with him, I heard Helen screaming. Her daddy had left. He had gone to the car with our youngest, Aiden. Sydney and Keenan stood in the room, not knowing what to do or how to feel. They understand. They watched their brother and sister cry for us and their hearts broke. I gave my sweet boy a last kiss, told him I loved him and took Helen. I rocked her and she tucked her head into my neck. I kissed her over and over. I told Sydney and Keenan to give them one last hug and go to the car. I watched them leave reluctantly. Then, I handed my baby to her foster mom, hugged the mom, and walked out the door. All I could hear were my children screaming my name. They were screaming for their daddy. They wanted us to come back. As Uncle P got in the car, we were all crying. Righ asked him to get us out of there ASAP. As we drove off, we could hear them crying for us. That's the last memory we have of our children. We pray we will return soon. We pray for God to grant our petition and our visas. We pray for their foster mother as she nurtures and cares for them. And finally, we thank our God for her and Uncle P filling in for us while we are away.

About ten o'clock that night, Aiden, our 3 year old walked over to me. We were getting ready to leave for the airport, but he said he had something important to tell me. He said, "Mama, the woman who is keeping Helen and Samuel Richard just sent us an email. She said we can come pick them up to take them home with us." If only it were that simple. He is 3 years old and he understood. He missed his brother and sister already. This is what I am thankful for! Those precious 12 days we had in Ghana bonding as a family of 7. Thank you, Jesus, for choosing our family to be on your journey!

Friday, September 17, 2010

I miss my kids

The last week has been okay. Today, though, the reality set in and I miss my kids. I miss Samuel Richard's beautiful smile. He loves to smile and he can light up a room. He is so loving and always ready to give a hug! I miss the way Helen runs into the arms of any of us. She brings such life to all of us.

Being in Ghana made me realize they are part of us. Things are not right without them. I cannot imagine life before this adoption. Our family is not complete.

What now? We wait. We filed our I600 20 days ago. We have 10 days left and then they'll start the orphan investigation process. Pray with us and several other families who are with us in the process. Pray the US Embassy will find favor upon our cases and families can be reunited with their children. Pray these children will find their way to the loving arms God planned for them.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Daddy with all 5 children the day after we got there
Our 3 boys playing futbol with a beach ball. :)
I love this! Samuel Richard is looking at Keenan with such admiration. Are you ready, big brother?
Helen's beautiful smile!
I treasure this picture!

While we were in Ghana, my computer time was limited. The time I spent was on putting our pics on facebook. So many people in the States were waiting for the daily update. And most nights I couldn't find the words to convey how I felt. However, now people have said I should try to put everything in words so I will try. We will try. God has laid our hearts in Ghana and the 12 days we were there was absolutely incredible and life-changing for all of us. We left a piece of ourselves with the children there and continue to pray God will show us our next step. For the time being, we wait for our I600 approval from the US Embassy, then for visas. Our babies are back in their foster home waiting for us to return. We pray the days will go by quickly and everything will be in God's perfect timing.

Ghana Day 2 - Our second day was spent hanging out at the hotel with two other families waiting for our Embassy appt. Righ went by himself and I stayed with our 5 children. Much less chaotic without them waiting impatiently. :) Our adoption responsibilities were over so our hearts and minds could focus on our children and the orphans we came to minister to. So many things we wanted to do and almost every day we had a project, but we walked away feeling like we should or could have done so much more. Tomorrow I will start recapping each day and posting more pics.