I have sat down to write this post for almost two months now. Each time I start typing I lose the words and just stop. So much has happened since we came home with our babies. It has been the most incredible days, but also some of the hardest all at the same time. Just a refresher, our bio kids are 11, almost 10, and 3. Our adopted children are 6 and 3. We all knew our baby would struggle and boy, did he ever those first few days. :) He has grown to love and adore his new siblings so much, though. On any given day, I can find Samuel and Aiden off playing dress up somewhere. And Helen and Aiden have the most unique relationship. They are both 3 and full of energy. Sometimes I will watch them jibber jabber back and forth. One speaks English and one Ewe, but you would think they both understand every single word. I LOVE IT! The next minute, they are fighting over Mommy's lap or Daddy's lap or the spot on the couch. A true love/hate relationship! In the end, love always wins.
Sydney and Keenan have struggled a bit, too, but we have made an effort to give them more freedoms after the 3 littles go to bed. This has been the biggest help. And generally, when I go on an errand without everyone, I take at least one "big kid". I have come to love and cherish this time with them so much!
There are so many stories I want to share in between, but first this is my heart tonight.
A few months ago, my husband's company told him they were dissolving his position. He would need to interview for a new job. Both options did not look promising. More travel, more overnights than he currently has. We have no family here so we were both less than excited about it. After much prayer, the answer was clear. He was offered the job with THE MOST TRAVEL! Really, Lord? Really? Not sure what you are planning here, but I am sensing I am not going to like it. It's not all about me, though. :)
So two days ago he started his new job. And I should note we are so incredibly thankful for a job! He found out today his travel (which was more than we would like) has now doubled. As I sat on the phone with him today and he told me he would be gone the whole month of February, I felt desperation setting in. This is not my plan. I have prayed for God's glory to shine through no matter what. I have prayed for the strength and peace to come for me. I have prayed for the hearts of my babies who will miss Daddy so much. I have prayed for my own sanity and also for God to bring some precious saint into our lives to help me when I need it.
Today I took Helen to her first sick dr. visit. She has a nasty earache so the dr. gave her a prescription. Does she have any allergies? I DON'T KNOW. So tonight, Righ went to Bible study and after I put Helen to bed she woke up screaming and scratching all over her body. She was having an allergic reaction to her meds. While I'm giving her Benadryl and consoling her, Aiden wakes up with severe pains in his legs. As I laid in bed with my two 3 year olds (both crying loudly) I prayed for God to help me. I prayed for strength and patience. I thought to myself THIS IS HARD. This is so much harder than I thought it would be and this is what it will be like when Daddy starts traveling more and more. I appreciate his extra set of hands so much and even take them for granted sometimes. But as I was laying there cuddling my babies, I was gently reminded this is all for His glory. It is for His name and He will sustain us. He will keep me going. And my thankfulness set in again. He chose our family to adopt Samuel and Helen. What a privilege to be their mother, to receive their hugs and their I love yous! Even in the hard moments, the moments where I can only do this with God's strength, it is so worth it. I am just so thankful!
And tonight as I typed this, I want to convey that I am not complaining. I am so incredibly blessed that my husband has a good job, that I can be at home with all of my children and homeschool them. I just want to share my heart. The heart that craves Jesus to be my strength and realizing (once again) that it is the only place to turn. On a last note, I am so thankful to all the soldiers and their wives who sacrifice so much to fight for our freedom. I am amazed by what they give up, on both ends. So thank you!!!
One more thing, Sydney's vision of feeding the children of Ghana has grown tremendously. It is so much more than I ever thought possible. The faith of a child is incredible, though, and it pushes me on. Click here to see how you can get involved. We are trying to update every day too, as things are changing quickly. Options are food sponsorships, mission trips, empowering the women, water for life, etc.