Monday, January 31, 2011

More of Him...less of me

These last few days have been hard for me. Our family is turning a new corner. We have a new decision facing us and it is hard. I have cried out to God for guidance, for confirmation. I am fearful and excited at the same time. I have prayed for my husband's heart to be united with mine and vice versa. Our God is not a God of confusion. He will unite us because we are one in Him.

In the midst of this, though, I have doubted hearing Him speak to me. I have been reassured and then doubted again. Through all of this, I have realized He wants me to be so utterly dependent on Him that I cannot breathe without His help. He wants me to love Him with a reckless abandon. He wants me to depend on Him without thinking. He wants me to be completely obedient and never second guess myself or what He has called me to do. THIS IS HARD! He wants to live through me. I have always known these things, BUT they are taking a whole new life.

As I sit here I am listening to my new favorite song SWEETLY BROKEN.

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

I pray that I will be sweetly broken, wholly surrendered to Him. As I asked someone to pray this morning for my heart to be united with Righ's (she had no idea in reference to what), she started telling me the story about the widow and the oil. The widow went to Elisha and needed help. He told her to go get vessels to pour her oil into. This sweet woman this morning started talking about how those vessels would always be full based on God. He wouldn't let us be empty if we kept refreshing ourselves, if we relied upon Him. No one had ever told the story like this. It spoke to me, it was her interpretation for where we are right now. God will be my energy, He will be my strength and no matter what He lays in front of us, He will carry us. As long as I am obeying and seeking His face for refreshment each step of the way. God will sustain me. He loves me and wants to draw me gently to my knees. I am amazed at a God who loves me so much. I pray I will obey Him each step, that I will be sweetly broken in front of Him.


Jill Funkhouser said...

Praying for you all as you make this decision as a family. Love and prayers!

Deb said...

Hey sister. I will be praying for whatever is happening. Remember God calls us to worship Him with our heart, MIND and soul. It's okay to think. :)

Lori said...

Hey new friend. I will be praying for your family is well. Thanks for being such a new Christian inspiration to me from afar. Lori Boarman