Through our first adoption, I did not trust God very well most days. I was impatient, worried, fearful. I did not enjoy my three children in my home some days because I was so focused on getting Samuel and Helen home. Was that wrong? Well, I think there are two answers to that question. First, I learned on that journey that I must trust with every ounce I have. I must give my beautiful children living halfway across the world into my Savior's hands and TRUST Him. They are His children. He has only chosen me to be their earthly mother. He loves them....and more than I can even begin to imagine. So after walking that journey a year ago and now walking it again, I think I see things from a different perspective. I see His hand in the day to day. I want to enjoy my 5 children here and live life to the fullest with them as we wait. All 7 of us are waiting and what an incredible gift and example of God's love we are giving our children when we wait with a blessed heart, instead of an impatient one. Now, let me clarify, I have plenty of days where I am impatient, where I long to bring my boys home, where I cry at the thought of them not being here. However, I long to be an example to my children here and teach them of God's unfailing love and POSSIBLY teach them what it is to completely trust my Heavenly Father who knows all things, sees all things, and plans all things for His perfect purpose.
So tonight my prayer is when I wake in the morning, it will be with a smile on my face, a thankful heart that I am now one day closer to holding the boys God chose to be my sons, and another day to train my children in the way they should go, which is following hard after HIM.