All I want is to go to school

This morning as I woke, I checked FB after my quiet time, which I typically do not do. As I opened it up, our Feeding the Orphans volunteer had just posted this sweet picture.

Meet Lawrence. Here he is watching out the window, watching the other kids go to SCHOOL. He sits every morning and watches the other kids get ready and leave. His heart is broken. He has told Grandma (Lola) he just wants to go to school. He is praying for God to make a way for him to go. He knelt on the floor this morning seeking God's face. Pleading with God to send him to school. As Lola prayed over him with encouragement and the love of Jesus, he wept. How many kids CRY because they want to go to school???? Not mine!!!

Well, we are so EXCITED to announce Lawrence now has an education sponsor!!! My heart is so happy. I wish I could have seen his face when Lola told him today. He will start in January and I cannot wait to see him in his new uniform.

The kids and I talked about him this morning. We prayed for God to use Lawrence in a mighty way to further HIS kingdom. I watched the excitement of my little ones as they clapped and cheered knowing Lawrence's dream is coming true!! I pray our hearts will be forever broken for the fatherless, for the orphan, for the widow, for the least of these.

Five years ago, our Sydney sat at the computer for hours watching adoption/orphan videos and prayed for a sister. Today she has her African sister plus a brother and 2 more brothers on the way! I thank God each day that He broke Sydney's heart for the fatherless and He heard her cry, her plea to break our hearts, too. Thank you, Sydney Grace, for being persistent and never giving up.

Even in the hard stuff, it will never outweigh the good. Adoption is life changing and SO WORTH IT!

In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. - Psalm 18:6

His Timing

This morning I awoke to an email saying our court will not be this week, but in November. Trusting. I'm trusting. As I read it, though, disappointment set in. Another delay to our boys. I walked in the kitchen and was immediately drawn to a verse I put on my fridge a few months ago. Peace washed over me. As I opened my devotion and Bible for quiet time, the same verse was there. It was meant for me today and all the other families waiting for God to bring their kids home, go to court or whatever else you are waiting on. God knows our hearts, He hears them, and He is moving even when we cannot see it. So I encourage you today to pray for all the children and parents waiting, but also to trust Him. Wait on Him. Let your heart take courage and believe He is working and moving.

Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the Lord; be strong, let your heart take courage and wait for the Lord.

Will I have enough love?

Almost two years ago I sat on my living room couch snuggled between my two oldest kids and my youngest in my lap. We had just started the adoption process for a baby girl and I longed to have her with us. We didn't even know who she was, but I knew she was out there somewhere. I cried at the thought of her being with all of us. I cried because of the unknown. I never dreamed God would give us a sibling set soon after. As time grew nearer and nearer to bring Samuel and Helen home, I started to doubt myself, my mothering abilities. Is this the best thing for my three bio kids? Will I have enough time for them? Will they know how much I love them or will I struggle to juggle 5 kids? The questions kept pouring in over and over through my mind. As I said goodbye to my two boys and boarded that plane to Ghana with Sydney to bring Samuel and Helen home, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Joy and fear. Joy that I would be with my Ghanaian children very soon. Fear that this would be such a huge mistake for my American children.

As I reflected on all of that tonight, I realized how wrong I was. I have so much more love. And that love comes from Jesus. My kids, all five of them, know I adore them. They adore one another and BEG for more siblings. They already have brothers and sisters "picked out" as soon as B & J get home from Ghana. Oh, how I love their faith, their love, their selflessness.

Tonight, as I sat on my couch, I reflected back to two years ago and how empty my couch seemed that night with three children sitting all over me. Now, it looks a bit differently. With five children sitting all around me, touching some part of me, I realized how empty it was. I realized I long to have B & J sitting with us, scrambling for a leg, an arm, or a neck that belongs to Mommy. And God will provide all I need to be what I need to be for my 7 beautiful children. Will it be hard? YES!!! The last 11 months have not been easy with Samuel and Helen, but they have been GOOD! I would not trade the sadness, the heartache, the anger, the fights, the hugs for anything in the world. It is worth every second of pain to get to the point of hearing Helen say, "Momma, I love you" one thousand times a day. "Momma, Momma, Momma," she will say. And Samuel, what an amazing journey of redemption he and I have been on. A hard road we have walked and will continue to walk, but he is trusting me more and more each day. I thank God for that and we give Him all glory, honor and praise for the good work He is doing in our children.

So for now, I long to sit with my five boys and two girls and watch a movie. I long to be dreaming of what our home will look like next. I long to give God all the praise for choosing me to be their mother. A beautiful, precious, priceless gift He has given me. Over and over.

James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift comes from above.

One More?

Do you have room in your heart for one more? Two more? There are precious children all over this world waiting, just waiting, for a mommy and a daddy. They are longing to have someone say, "I love you. I will take care of you. I will never let anyone hurt you again."

Seek God and ask Him what you should do. What does He want from you? Then watch this and be moved. Moved to action.

James 1:27 - Religion that is pure and undefiled is to care for orphans and widows in their distress.

The children of God

Tonight at dinner, Samuel had chicken and french fries on his plate. Aiden needed to eat something different due to allergies so I saw Samuel lean over to Aiden and whisper (loudly), "Aiden, can I have your chicken and french fries after I eat all of mine?" And my heart broke. My sweet, little boy is ALWAYS talking about food. He is always concerned about what he will eat and how much of it next. He goes to bed asking what we will have for breakfast. He leaves breakfast asking what we will have for lunch. Heartbreaking.

Tonight, though, as I listened to him petition with Aiden, I looked at him and reassured him. I told him not to worry. He will never go hungry here. I will always give him food. My heart hurts that the fear of hunger haunts him, that there was a day when he would not get food. Lord, please, heal his heart and the hearts of so many children living around the world tonight who will go to bed hungry. I pray God will break my heart, your heart for these children and people and we will want to GIVE. Give of ourselves and what we have because we have so much. And not just food and material items. We have so much LOVE and that's what it truly comes down to. We have the love of Jesus that so many people do not have, do not know.

This week a precious little boy walked over to me (under 2) and held his arms up to me. I knelt down to his little face and he just wrapped his arms around my neck. That broke me. Completely broke me. I wanted to scoop him up and hold him forever. Whisper to him Jesus loves you. He will never leave you. He is beside you, ALWAYS.

The Lord is doing so much in my heart right now. He is breaking it like never before. He is calling me out of my comfort zone and showing me over and over again what I have known for years. He has called me to care for the children of the world, the fatherless, the sick, the hurting. He has given my family the ability to welcome other children into our home and love them like our own. And I have watched my children grow tremendously in Jesus' love through that.

Tonight, as you go to bed, ask God what He has called you to do. How does He want you to step out of your comfort zone? What is He telling you to do?