As I reflected on all of that tonight, I realized how wrong I was. I have so much more love. And that love comes from Jesus. My kids, all five of them, know I adore them. They adore one another and BEG for more siblings. They already have brothers and sisters "picked out" as soon as B & J get home from Ghana. Oh, how I love their faith, their love, their selflessness.
Tonight, as I sat on my couch, I reflected back to two years ago and how empty my couch seemed that night with three children sitting all over me. Now, it looks a bit differently. With five children sitting all around me, touching some part of me, I realized how empty it was. I realized I long to have B & J sitting with us, scrambling for a leg, an arm, or a neck that belongs to Mommy. And God will provide all I need to be what I need to be for my 7 beautiful children. Will it be hard? YES!!! The last 11 months have not been easy with Samuel and Helen, but they have been GOOD! I would not trade the sadness, the heartache, the anger, the fights, the hugs for anything in the world. It is worth every second of pain to get to the point of hearing Helen say, "Momma, I love you" one thousand times a day. "Momma, Momma, Momma," she will say. And Samuel, what an amazing journey of redemption he and I have been on. A hard road we have walked and will continue to walk, but he is trusting me more and more each day. I thank God for that and we give Him all glory, honor and praise for the good work He is doing in our children.
So for now, I long to sit with my five boys and two girls and watch a movie. I long to be dreaming of what our home will look like next. I long to give God all the praise for choosing me to be their mother. A beautiful, precious, priceless gift He has given me. Over and over.
James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift comes from above.