Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Where do I begin?

This adoption journey has been so awesome and incredible. It is such a God story for us. 9 months ago Righ didn't want to adopt and now he wants to change the world for the orphans. Only God can change a heart like that. I am so thankful for all the times God has shown Himself in this adoption and for the way He is taking care of my sweet children until I can get there. On the other hand, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I know all you adoptive mommas know what I'm talking about. You sit and wait and wait and wait. Sometimes not even knowing what you are waiting for. That's where I am now. I do not know what we are waiting for. We sent our dossier in 10 weeks ago and are still waiting for a court date. I know there is a perfectly good explanation for this wait and God's timing is perfect, BUT it is still hard. It is hard not being able to see them, hold them, tell them I love them. I just pray they know how much we all love them, how our home feels semi-empty because they aren't here, how our hearts ache for them to be with us. Only God can ease this pain and sadness and only He can move the mountains (or ocean) standing between us and our kids in Africa. Tonight when I read my Jesus Calling book it started with TRUST ME IN ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. Now I can ask myself? Am I trusting Him completely? I wish I could say yes, but I cannot. The next few lines said I KNOW THAT SOME THOUGHTS ARE UNCONSCIOUS OR SEMI-CONSCIOUS AND I DO NOT HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE. BUT YOU CAN DIRECT CONSCIOUS THOUGHTS MUCH MORE THAN YOU MAY REALIZE. PRACTICE THINKING IN CERTAIN WAYS -TRUSTING ME, THANKING ME-AND THOSE THOUGHTS BECOME MORE NATURAL.

I think certain instances in your life require more faith than others. This is one of those for me. I need to practice thinking in certain ways, trusting Jesus and thanking Him. I need to trust Him in this adoption and I need to thank Him for those sweet children that He gave to me. I need to cherish the time before they come home and accomplish for His kingdom what He wants me to do. Right now it seems so easy, but tomorrow it might not. I just have to make more of an effort to remind myself and those thoughts will come more naturally. One of my favorite verses is "Walk by faith, not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7 Each step is a step of faith. Not knowing what is on the other side is scary, but it's all about the leap of faith. The leap into our precious Father's arms. Will you jump? Will I? I hope so.

I mentioned earlier that God has perfect timing and I have realized that more and more this week. You see, originally we should have already traveled and brought our kids home. That's okay, though. God laid upon our daughter's heart when she was 7 to help the orphans. In the last couple of months, she has started that into motion. In the last week, she found a village that desperately needs water, a village that needs medical supplies. God brought her and a man in Ghana together to work for His kingdom. If we had traveled a few months ago, where would His dream through Sydney be? I am so thankful for His perfect timing. You see, Sydney is getting ready to drill a well with the money God has provided through her t-shirts and donations. She is trying to gather vitamins and thermometers. And she will buy food for the orphanages when we travel. These are basic necessities and God is providing them. Please pray about how you can help with FEEDING THE ORPHANS. Maybe you are to be a prayer parter, offer financial support or God is calling your heart to Africa. You never know until you ask the Father. :)


Jenny said...

what a beautiful post! i amazed over and over at sydney! praise the Lord for her and her work!

Steiners! said...

Everytime your blog jumps to the top of my list, my stomach flips thinking it might be the good news! And you know what? This is good news too. God is good. I'm still praying!