Friday, May 7, 2010

The Waiting Game

As a waiting mom, some days are harder than others (as most of you know). It is a bit different from being physically pregnant because you know what to expect and when to expect it. With adoption, it is all a waiting game and there is no definite time. Yesterday was a harder day for me. It started with breakfast when Aiden, our youngest, wanted to sit in my lap while he ate. As I pulled him up and kissed his head, I was gently reminded that my 2 African babies are not here and I cannot hold them tight or kiss their heads. A bit of sadness. As the day wore on I was gently reminded of their absence. There is a void here. There are 2 empty places at our table and I cannot wait to hear 5 children playing in the yard. The children were playing outside while I cooked dinner last night and the sadness became overwhelming. My heart physically hurt, I could feel the actual pain in my chest. I went to their picture, cried, and just prayed for them. My Heavenly Father, their Heavenly Father loves them so much more than I could ever imagine. I lifted them up to Him. Then, I felt God telling me to go get my Bible. I knew He would give me the passage and He did! This is what I read:

Zechariah 4:1-7 - And the angel who talked with me came again and woke me, like a man who is awakened out of his sleep. And he said to me, "What do you see? I said, " I see, and behold, a lampstand all of gold, with a bowl on top of it, and seven lamps on it, with seven lips on each of the lamps that are on the top of it. And there are two olive trees by it, one on the right of the bowl and the other on its left." And I said to the angel who talked with me, "What are these, my lord?" Then the angel who talked with me answered and said to me, "Do you not know what these are?" I said, "No, my lord." Then he said to me, " This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: NOT BY MIGHT, NOR BY POWER, BUT BY MY SPIRIT, says the Lord of hosts. Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain. And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of "Grace, grace to it!"

When I read this I knew the two olive trees were my children in Africa and they will be brought home by God's Spirit, by His plan. Not by might, nor by power, but by His Spirit! God has a plan to bring our children home and all the other adoptive children home. He will make a way and we need to trust in Him. Is it easy? Not at all. However, we can all do it through the grace of God, through His strength. I am so thankful I have Him to hold me up on days like yesterday, to encourage me along the way. I am so thankful for all the parents in the world making a difference with their children. For teaching the kids right from wrong, for bringing orphaned children home or for helping others bring children home. We can all make a difference. Just like the body of Christ, we are all an integral piece to form together. Thank you to all the mothers this weekend and to the women in this world who have been "mothers" in spirit, but never physically. We have all played an important part. :)

1 comment:

Steiners! said...

The waiting is hard, isn't it? I'll pray for you!
Deb :)